Some of the highlights:
- Huge traffic jams are caused not by vegetable-oil-powered cars but by thousands of bicyclists intentionally messing up traffic just to irritate the Neanderthal motorists.
- There is an extreme housing shortage, but the political establishment responds by not allowing builders to build.
- Your family is making more than $125,000 a year, but you can't find a decent apartment, and you can't afford a house.
- The only flags being waved by marchers at parades have rainbows on them.
- Each morning, while drinking a latte at Starbucks, you review a complete list of companies you need to boycott.
- You lament the negative impact of those awful big-box stores on local mom-and-pop hardware stores while you're complaining to the cashier at Home Depot.
- You enjoy books about the struggles of smaller, independent bookstores that are systematically being taken over by huge corporations -- and you buy them at Barnes and Noble.
- You won't cross a picket line, and you proudly display your "Buy Union" bumper sticker on your imported car.
- You're not snobbish -- you just happen to honestly think it's only San Franciscans who know anything about politics, literature, love, food, fashion, culture and art, except for that high-brow director Michael Moore, of "Roger and Me" fame, who hails from Flint, Mich.